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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a mexican that lost his car? Carlos"

"Why did the Space Marine shoot the Tailor? The heretic kept crossing the warp"

"My post on /r/bombs made the front page Edit: holy shit this blew up"

"We were so much better at drinking and driving in the 80aTMs. You kids today really fucked it up."

"You know why some people simply don't have a butt? Because they are on a gluten free diet."

"I will ride you like a helicopter. Totally out of control."

"My surname: 'Ever.' My given forename: 'Superior'. Similar to a torn talofibular ligament, I am not one to be trifled with."

"I wanted to get a haircut today after work around 8:45... but they closed at 9, so that's cutting it close."

"You should never trust a Scottish tailor. It'll get you kilt."

"A polish guy goes to the ophthalmologist Doctor: Can you read this? C Z J W I N O S T A W C Z Polish: Read? I know that guy!"