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Joke of the Day

"I wanted to get a haircut today after work around 8:45... but they closed at 9, so that's cutting it close."

"todayilearned nothing"

"April Fools Day The one day out of the year where all of reddit becomes /r/nottheonion"

"What is the nastiest bun of them all A *cinna*bun"

"""My girlfriend? You wouldn't know her. She's a bit underground."" ...said the hipster necrophiliac."

"I miss the old days when I could say I wasn't around and you couldn't check Facebook or twitter to see if I was lying"

"I just saw this advert and the lady said allergies cause you to avoid the things you love. That explains why I never get laid."

"How do you think the unthinkable? Hit an itheberg."

"Do not go golfing with Admiral Ackbar. All he does is obsess about the location of sand hazards."

"Why was the horizontal plane judged in Germany? It was x-axis"