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Joke of the Day

"Could you buy me something cheap for lunch, please? Sure thing, how about the gluten? It's free"

"The best thing about going on a date with a sarcastic person is that no matter what happens they're going to tell you they had a great time."

"Why Did The Cows Go To Graze In The Marijuana Fields? It was a case of the pot calling the cattle back..."

"182,000 Americans die from Chuck Norris-related accidents every year."

"Only an ass can be divided in half."

"Weekends are like an ORGASM: It takes a lot to get there and when you finally do, it's over in no time!"

"Walking down the street, I heard a car alarm go off ... ... And I thought, ""Oh my God, someone's stealing a car!"""

"I came here to kick ass and chew gum... And I've got new, longer-lasting Stride, so we'll be here for a while."

"What do you give to an elephant with diarrhea? Plenty of room."

"My wife called me crazy... CALLED"