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Joke of the Day

"What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before getting married? Feyonce. *drops mic, throws up dynasty sign*"

"Sarah McLachlan should do a commercial but instead of homeless pets in cages, people in cubicles."

"How does a CANDU reactor work? By believing in itself."

"""im a growing boy"" i announce loudly as i push my way to the front of the buffet line at golden corral"

"A third zebra strolls casually while whistling and pretending to read a newspaper onto Noah's ark."

"What's the difference in jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick down your throat!"

"if you're feeling stressed out, just relax, take a deep breath, and exhale fire over all of your enemies. this is more for dragons btw"

"RIP boiled water You will be mist"

"What do you call a psychic midget that escaped from prison? A small medium at large!"

"""How's the wine?"" ""House red?"" ""Yes."" *sips, swills, spits* ""Wow it's got too much body."" ""Sorry, I should have evicted the tenants first."""