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Joke of the Day

"TIFU by walking into the class of the wrong substitute teacher Whoops, wrong sub."

"America, you're fired. Love, United Nations"

"Did you hear about the prostitute who got fired for going on strike? She just didn't give a fuck."

"Where do footballers dance? At a football!"

"STOP ANIMAL TESTING...they don't know the answers."

"Did you know the first sniper was a Mexican? Juan shot, Juan kill."

"What's the difference between a lima bean and a chickpea? I've never had a lima bean on my chest"

"So a girl once asked me... ""Hey wanna come over? Nobody will be home."" So I came over. And nobody was home."

"Why doesn't Sherlock Holmes pay any income tax? Because he makes so many brilliant deductions."

"I found a wallet today and as a good Christian I thought ""what would Jesus do?"" ... so I turned it into wine."