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Joke of the Day
"Some of you need to be driven out to the country and released back into the wild"
Next Joke
"I once met an Asian with excellent grammar... So I said, ""Wow, your grammar is so good!"" And they replied, ""No.....my grandma's dead."""
"What's the difference between a doctor and a chair salesman? The chair salesman gives YOU a stool sample."
"Little Jack Warner Sat in the corner A finger in every pie. He stuck in his thumb And pulled out a bung And said ""Lets all go to Dubai!"""
"Nomenclature is important when courting a lady. For example, ""feminine scent"" and ""feminine odor"" are perceived differently. You're welcome."
"Asterisks are awesome. *tosses a midget dressed in sexy maid outfit off the Eiffel Tower with parachute made of pancakes*"
"I value your opinion as long as you don't offer it"
"What's the difference between the government and your wife? The government enjoys fucking you Edit: phrasing courtesy of tefkasm"
"What number is most common in earth sciences? e"
"A time traveller walks into a bar... http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/3lsgus/and_the_bartender_says_sorry_we_dont_serve_time/"