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Joke of the Day

"Me: ""I want to go on a diet."" Food: ""LOL no."""

"Vin Diesel's full name is Vintage Dieselengine."

"Sarah Palin used ""refudiate"" in a sentence. I think she needs to studiate her vocabulade before she pontifitalks on the televade."

"When grocery shopping, I only buy foods that can also be used as a weapon. Cantaloupe is a good example of this."

"The Church of England rejected female bishops. How can women's rights expect to move forward if they're not even allowed to move diagonally?"

"""No, everything's fine"" must've been a great phrase to say before women got hold of it."

"i blame everything on the illuminati. stale bread? illuminati."

"Whats black,white,black,white,black,white,red? A nun falling down the stairs on her period."

"""Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey, I know you're asleep but I just wanted to let you know that I'm like 14 miles away from your house right now!"" -Trains"

"I like my girls like I like my windows... 7"