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Joke of the Day

"""Will I ever be able to race my horse again"" the owner asked the vet. The vet replied ""You certainly will and you'll probably beat her too!"""

Next Joke
 
"ME: I need help losing weight. I've tried everything. NARRATOR: He hadn't tried anything at all. Nothing."
"Is it just me... or are circles pointless?"
"Ever wonder how many of your friends are jerks? Just post something with a typo in it..... It's like their mating call."
"The U.S. is scheduled to play Germany soon at the World Cup. President Obama and German Chancellor Angela Merkel already have a bet going. The loser keeps Hasselhoff."
"When you start trying to pick out names for a baby, you realize how many jerks you know with different names."
"How can you tell if your house was built by lesbian carpenters? All tongue-in-groove, with no studs."
"I just got fired for putting my penis in the pickle slicer at the restaurant where I work She only got docked a week's pay"
"What is a big dinner for a cannibal? A three-corpse meal."
"My sex life is exactly like my shopping. I do it all online."