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Joke of the Day

"The U.S. is scheduled to play Germany soon at the World Cup. President Obama and German Chancellor Angela Merkel already have a bet going. The loser keeps Hasselhoff."

"That which does not kill me has been everything so far."

"New TomTom voice over I got a new TomTom and changed his voice to Chewbacca. Left is BRRRRRRRRRRR and right is BRRRRRRRRRRR And when I'm at my distination : i still dont know"

"Does anyone know how to get make-up off a dog? Asking for a friend, she's a bitch."

"What happens if I put a vial in another vial and then in another vial? It doesn't matter."

"I have Alzheimer's disease. But at least I don't have Alzheimer's disease!"

"no soap, radio."

"How do you feel when there's no coffee? Depresso."

"What's white, located in washington and has a president within it? Monica Lewinsky's teeth."

"Rapunzel is my favorite story about a girl who would do anything to have her hair pulled."