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Joke of the Day

"The brownies I started making in my Easy Bake Oven in 1987 are ready if you guys want one."

"What do you call a Donald Trump protestor's favorite word game? Mad Libs."

"How do you get a fat girl into bed ? Piece of cake"

"How to sleep: 1. Lay down 2. Dim lights 3. Dwell about literally every mistake you've made in your life for 6 hours 4. Rest for 9 minutes"

"You know how people play video games by pushing all the buttons at once? That's how I'm handling adulthood."

"Forrest Whitaker turned 51 today, his right eye turned 47."

"Hey! You got your chatroulette in my peanut butter."

"(1:35pm) God: Yo Abraham (1:37pm) Abe: sup (1:38pm) God: Need u to kill ur son (1:42pm) Abe: k (4:02pm) God: jk lol (4:10pm) God: u there?"

"Just found out my friend's wife is pregnant They say they don't know the sex, but I am fairly certain it wasn't anal"

"hunting for meat is a fun, important life skill. all you have to do is find a smaller animal and bite it until it is dead"