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Joke of the Day

"""To be perfectly honest, I'm not a huge fan of beats by Dre."" --Dee Barnes [Context for the clueless](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dee_Barnes)."

"A perk of being in your thirties is waking up injured because you slept in a slightly different way than usual."

"Hitler has heard that the Americans have liberated Normandy Hitler: It's over Eva. Everything's a disaster. We might as well call this Disaster Day. Eva: Why not just call it D-Day?"

"guaranteed Smile... possible Snigger if carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up"

"TIL that constipation is hereditary. My dad never gave a shit."

"A man walks into a bar... ...and then he leaves."

"Maybe Jesus went black, and that's why he isn't coming back."

"Are you into gardening stuff like sowing seeds? Well, I'll sew my dick to your forehead so you can seed-EEZ NUTS!"

"Roses are red Congress is red The Senate is red The White House is red welp Edit: insert communist pun here Edit x2: what the fuck did i just get gold for this"

"If a tree falls in a forest and nobody is there to hear it... do the other trees laugh at it?"