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Joke of the Day

"Couldn't afford the ""Wheres Waldo"" book for my baby niece so I just Tivo'd the winter X-games and told her to find a black man in the stands"

"The parking spot on Richard III's grave was restricted... Only two-door cars were allowed."

"I just told my wife it took her longer to pick a Netflix movie than it took me to pick out her engagement ring and that was a bad analogy."

"Did you hear about the man who fell into a lens grinder? He made a spectacle of himself."

"I like my woman like I like my coffee Served at 160F."

"Eating broccoli is a lot like anal sex... If you're forced to have it as a kid, it's less enjoyable when you're an adult."

"I'm trying to stop... I'm trying to stop masturbating. It's really hard."

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? I've never had a lentil on my face before!"

"Fancy Dress Party tonight. Going as a masturbating guy with Leprosy Hope I can pull it off."

"A blonde joke you probably haven't heard for a while ... Hillary Clinton"