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Joke of the Day

"Spiderman: Just another guy who ends up with sticky hands after using the web."

"I painted my computer black... thinking it would run faster but it just stopped working"

"Regretting the compliment... A woman walks up to a guy in a blue bathing suit and says, ""Did you know your eyes match your swim trunks?"" He says, ""Really! Why? Are my eyes bulging?"""

"What do you call a conversation with your professor when you are blown? I guess you would call it a high-class conversation."

"How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. 1 to screw it in and 2 to talk about how much better Neil Peart could've done it"

"When does a hunger strike stop? When hunger strikes."

"Groundhogs Constipation is a bit like watching for groundhogs on Groundhog Day. You know spring is coming early, but that reclusive rodent is nowhere to be seen."

"put ur hair in a man-bun. now put ur beard in a man-bun too. congratulations ur now a hamburger. be free, hamburger man."

"What do u call a bad jokester? Matteo"

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."