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Joke of the Day

"A new study says schizophrenia and pot smoking are genetically linked but don't worry, another study says you're just being paranoid."

"""Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes... ....That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes."" ~ Jack Handey"

"My girlfriend wants me to take her to Paris, and treat her like a princess The only thing is, I don't know which to pick: the guillotine or the Mercedes."

"Who was the world's first carpenter? Eve, because she made Adam's banana stand."

"Why don't jokes in base 8 work? Because 7 10 11"

"Finally figured out why even smart people fall for click bait..."

"Did you hear about the recently unemployed electrician? Apparently he's now ohm-less."

"My son didn't understand the concept of a committed relationship, so I told him it's like making a girl your default browser."

"Math problem: I had 10 chocolate bars and ate 9. What do I have now? ""Oh, I do not know, DIABETES MAYBE!"""

"Aliens: ""Take us to your leader"" ""No"" ""What"" ""Look we've made some mistakes"" ""Just take..."" ""It's been a weird year, half of us are morons"""