76944

Joke of the Day

"i went to a bookshop And asked for a book about tortoises. The woman asked ""hardback?"" I said ""yeah, and little heads."""

Next Joke
 
"Shakespeare's The Life and Death of King Richard III Spoiler Alert: Richard III dies in the end."
"Amal Clooney bought hubby George a riding lawnmower for his 55th birthday. I have never been so jealous of a garden tool in my life."
"I can't remember this joke. This joke had a sadist, masochis, murderer, rapist, and some other guys all talking about what they were going to do to a cat. Does anyone know what I'm talking about?"
"My friend said she was only taking Women's Studies courses this quarter It sounds like a broad curriculum to me."
"Screw it, I'm starting Friday now."
"What do you call a dad that raps? (x-post from r/dadjokes) A hip pop. Happy fathers day!"
"Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? Because he only **comes** once a year."
"Why did God kick Joe Paterno out of Heaven? ....because he picked Michael Jackson as his new assistant coach."
"Hamster joke There is a boy, he owns a hamster. What does the hamster eat? Ham."