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Joke of the Day
"I don't trust umbrellas. They're shady."
Next Joke
"What do you say when someone dies while getting an erection? He came and went at the same time."
"Q: Why couldn't the shoes go out and play? A: They were all tied up."
"[end credits roll] ""I did not see that coming"" ""Dude that was titanic"""
"Crazy episode of Judge Judy on right now. This guy was a month late on his rent and she just gave him the electric chair."
"British people are always recording their finances because the camera adds ten pounds."
"Q. ""Why do the commodes in Marine barracks have the cut-out type seats?"" A. ""So that if the seat falls while they're drinking it won't smack them in the back of the head"""
"A plant fell on my head... I'm alright though, it was no big dill."
"Grandpa joke: What becomes shorter when you add 2 letters? Short"
"I snort a lot of cocaine for a sober person."