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Joke of the Day

"Apples on trees Dad - Hey son, how many apples grow on trees? Son - I don't know Dad, how many? Dad - All apples grow on trees, silly."

"How do Australians sleep? With their heads at the foot of the bed."

"Holiday tip. Always buy people gifts that you would like for yourself in case they piss you off before Christmas"

"Where does a king keep his armies?? In his sleevies"

"just ate about 3 pounds of eggplant parm. time to fuck."

"Can you tease, please and never squeeze Argentina? Yes, but you Gotze try a little tenderness."

"Sometimes i get scared robots are going to take over. Then i use a motion-controlled sink."

"Have you heard about the guy who posted about a mod's cousin? Once removed."

"1 Bitcoin = 19.62 USD. What does it say about your economy when imaginary internet money is worth more than your ""Real World Money""?"

"What does a gynecologist and a pizza boy have in common? They can smell it but they can't eat it."