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Joke of the Day

"Apples on trees Dad - Hey son, how many apples grow on trees? Son - I don't know Dad, how many? Dad - All apples grow on trees, silly."

"TIFU by switching up by customer's sandwich orders at Subway Opps wrong sub."

"Donald Trump, Barack Obama and Putin walk into a bar.. and walk out after having a drink. What else did you expect they would do in a bar?"

"if the plan is ""eat pancakes now figure out life later"" then yes everything is going according to plan"

"What was the last pizza the twin towers had? A plane one."

"*Stands in wood & sets self on fire* ""OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"" I want to look hot on tinder."

"One of those people out there with protected tweets is your therapist passing your problems off as jokes."

"Only 90s kids will remember this (picture of burning buildings in Sarajevo) Wait wait no (picture ofmass graves in Bosnia) Wait no. Hold on"

"Why are sergeants so successful in physical contests? Three stripes, you rout."

"How do you know if an introvert likes you when you're talking to them? They'll stare at your shoes instead of theirs."