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Joke of the Day

"they say that if you play nickelback backwards, it's devil worship... But even worse, if you play it forwards it's nickelback"

"What is the Difference Between Your Nearest Bus Station and a Crab With a Boob Job? One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean."

"What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad? One says ribbit ribbit the other one says rub-it rub-it!"

"Mysteries of #Gravity: Why Bullock's hair, in otherwise convincing zero-G scenes, did not float freely on her head."

"Thank God I'm an Athiest After seeing what happened in Paris! Religious people scare me!"

"This day in history. 1924. Franz Kafka died after a surrealistically charged life which should have its own adjective. Kafkastic? Kafkable?"

"A girl never comments on another unless she's jealous."

"Do you know what the difference is between patronising and condescending? Condescending is where you talk down to someone. Don't you worry your pretty little head about it though."

"Pro tip for picking up girls keep your back straight and lift with your knees."

"I hate it when I'm at someone's party and they keep asking stupid questions like... ""Who are you?"" and ""Is that a gun?"""