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Joke of the Day

"So I was playing poker with a few lepers... when someone threw in a hand."

"What's the NSA's favourite game? I spy."

"Why did the Italian get thrown out of the hotel? He said ""I wanna two sheet onna the bed""."

"My dick is so average... It's struggling with student loan debt but doesn't even use it's degree... Or Can handle about 5-6 beers before it's totally useless Or Its like the Toyota corolla of dicks"

"What is the favorite note of a priest? A minor"

"Q: Why is air a lot like sex? A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any."

"Girlfriend kept nagging me to take her home to meet my family, so I did. Her and my wife aren't getting along."

"BUZZ ALDRIN:They say in space no one can hear you scream, but it's not true and the other astronauts get mad at you for the rest of the trip"

"So there we were, 2 vs 100. We prepared our attack and started off strong... Killed 'em both."

"Think of a number. Realize that number will never think of you too. Lay on your bathroom floor and sob."