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Joke of the Day

"Why doesn't Justin Bieber shop at Sport's Authority? Because he likes Dicks."

"Minimize vs Close in 2014 In 2080: there were some dumb computer users who thought if they click on 'x' in Skype it will close it."

"How does a pig write home? With a pig pen."

"I make a mean sandwich. The key is to use racist cheese."

"You might spend a night in jail for it, but raising a cop's breathalyzer and saying ""Cheers!"" before blowing is both bold and beautiful."

"Now if you'll excuse me, I have a cape to wear and whoosh noises to make."

"Wife told me she wants to have sex in the back of the car... She asked me if I could drive :-( Credit to Legend Rodney Dangerfield"

"I haven't pooped in a couple weeks I'm not constipated, I'm just procrapstinating"

"What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee fish! (works better when you're drunk)"

"I think ""dildo"" is an acceptable insult. Like I'd call you a dick, but you're not real enough."