76363

Joke of the Day

"10:00 am: sitting alone at work 10:05 am: my pudding cup is my new best friend 10:06 am: ate my best friend 10:07 am: sitting at work alone"

"What made the triangle high? Potenuse Credit: Key and Peele. I don't want to be like that kid in class."

"What is a terrorist his favourite car? A Citroen C4"

"""God is dead, but like, dead in a fun way"" - Nietzsche trying to make a first date less awkward"

"Doctor: It's been weeks since we restored your vision. Thoughts? ""I can't believe that British guy from the Geico commercials is a lizard."""

"Showed my husband all the super-awesome Twitter lists I'm on. He put me on a list called People I Probably Shouldn't Have Married."

"You've probably heard of Davy Jones' locker, but do you know who Davy Jones is? He's a Sea-Monkee."

"How do you poison a hipster? Gluten"

"What kind of pants do Mario and Luigi wear? Denim Denim Denim"

"Did you hear about the guy that could not afford personalized license plates? He changed his name to JLU 635."