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Joke of the Day

"The 21st century: When deleting history is more important than making it."

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"I'm going to start responding to videos people post of their babies on Facebook with videos of me getting nine hours of sleep"
"All I do is eat, drink, sleep and tweet. I'm basically just a more annoying version of a Tamagotchi."
"I've been all over the web looking for a combination fly swatter/back scratcher. I'm tired of lugging both around all day."
"Why do chickens sit on eggs? Because they don't have any chairs. Source: my five-year-old."
"Just recently sold all my dead batteries free of charge"
"What did the bunny say to the frog? [My name is Rabbit, not ribbit!!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CYkDxsaHlkg)"
"Took the family out for doughnuts They did not like having to give blood."
"What kind of martial art does a chef do? Kung food (Don't hurt me, I know it's bad)"
"When does a cub scout become a boy scout? When he eats his first brownie."