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Joke of the Day

"Was watching golden globes this morning. The next door neighbbour was sunbathing topless in the garden."

"Me: hey squirrel, dnt steal d pigeon's food, the eggs are about to hatch S: u stole a cake frm ur roomate Me: Me: here, take the eggs too"

"My husband's new prescription glasses is not working He still can't see things my way. ^Credits ^to ^the ^original ^twitter ^post."

"Why did the chicken cross the road today? To get away from all the assholes making Prince jokes."

"How do you stretch your back? ""I don't know."" **shrugs*"

"Yo mama so short she poses for trophies!"

"I think the government looks at Twitter and thinks 'This is WAY cheaper than Asylums'"

"What is Facebook? Its a Place where Boy posts a JOKE and Gets no Response & If a Girl Posts the same JOKE , She gets Hundreds of likes , comments and Friend Requests and Lots of PM's ."

"I like my women like I like my coffee... I don't fucking like coffee."

"How Does Snoop Dogg Do His Laundry? He uses a lot of BLEAYOTCH!"