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Joke of the Day

"[everyone in the STI clinic glaring at my Pokemon shirt] ""No no it means like, I want to catch all the Pokemon"""

"What's 72? 69 with 3 people watching!"

"Why is the Mars Rover banned from pet stores? Curiosity killed the cat."

"Two roads diverged in the woods. I took the road less traveled and now I'm a werewolf. Thanks, poetry."

"Do you know what the problem with toilets is? They're a pisstake."

"So in conclusion, the burglars in Home Alone 2 absolutely would have died. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk"

"You know why paedophiles don't play Skyrim? No lollygagging."

"Just found out you can eat a big turkey dinner whenever you want without having to be thankful. This changes everything."

"What's a gothic persons blood made of? Emoglobin"

"Selfies? In my day we stared in a mirror and then felt ashamed."