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Joke of the Day

""" I am not Acting"" Me: (talking random shit to my friend) Friend: ""Stop acting stupid"" Me: "" I am not Acting"""

"[In the gym] hey guys it'd be a lot easier to lift these weights if we worked together"

"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. ;)"

"On the last day of camp everyone was asked the same question: 'What is the best part of the camp?' One wise guy answered 'Going home!'"

"Knock Knock Who's there ? Chest ! Chest who ? Chest-nuts for sale !"

"""Inkblot."" ""Inkblot."" ""Inkblot."" ""Inkblot."" ""Inkblot."" -Rorschach taking a Rorschach test"

"Using double negatives results in the meaning being positive. So, should using double positives should give a negative meaning? Yeah right."

"Did you hear about the baby with the gigantic, record-setting head? The mother called it a crowning achievement."

"Calling your girlfriend Dumbledore.. ..cause she's the real head master"

"What kind of tea do koalas drink? Euca-lipton"