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Joke of the Day

"I make more Freudian slips before 9am than most people do all gay."

"Reasons I Can Relate To Raccoons: 1) Dark circles around eyes. 2) Eats junk. 3) Small and chubby. 4) Stays up all night. 5) Cute but will fight you."

"A hobbit walks into a bar It was very low down."

"This is terrible, and I'd like to apologize in advance, but could anyone tell me why hipsters prefer corpses over zombies? Corpses are still underground."

"My friend told me to let loose and be reckless today so I walked really fast with a bowl full of hot soup."

"im a cat and i FREaking love turning potential energy into kinetic *pushes glass off table* your going to feed and keep me for some reason"

"Q: How did a blind man meet his wife? A: On a blind date!"

"Where do terrorists go when they're on the run? Apparently, they go everywhere."

"Fisherman got jokes... A little fish humor for everyone. ""Did you do that on Porpoise? Or just for the Halibut?"" ""Oh my Cod, save my Sole!"" ""You sucker, that smelt, so get your bass out of here!"""

"The next terrorist attack has apparently been launched in the stall next to me in this Target bathroom."