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Joke of the Day

"What does the L in Samuel L Jackson stand for? Motherfucking"

"Why does internet explorer ask so many questions? Because it's insecure. It has trust issues."

"Me: How are you doing? Is our date starting to feel a bit awkward? Her: Yeah, a little... Me: I was talking to my mom! Mom: No, I'm fine."

"What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? Roberto"

"Don't judge me until you know me. Don't underestimate me until you challenge me. And don't talk about me until you talk to me"

"Crazy sister put: ""I had a child very young so I had to mature quickly"" on her resume once. Put her email address as MONKEYTUSHIES87 too."

"Q: Why don't blind people skydive? A: It scares the heck out of the dog."

"BUT GHOSTBUSTERS NEVER GAVE US THEIR NUMBER."

"""Did you watch Big Hero 6?"" ""No, I still haven't seen Big Hero 1-5."""

"If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic."