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Joke of the Day

"What political party does Donald Trump belong to? The Whig Party"

"TIFU by being dyslectic and using the wrong public transportation Whoops, wrong bus."

"*rises out of neighbor's hot tub* I'd like to talk to you guys about home alarm systems..."

"Oh, you were sexually harassed in the workplace? Sounds like a personnel problem."

"[wife talking to me on phone 45 mins after I go to play poker at friends house] ""stop crying for a second...what do you mean you lost me?"""

"Girl: Mom mom a monster's just bitten my foot off. Mom: Well keep out of the kitchen I've just washed the floor."

"Q: How many Geminis does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Two. Plus a portable phone an Internet link and a copy of the ""Bluffer's Guide to Changing Lightbulbs."""

"There's no such thing as ""fair trade"" honey. Those bees are gettin' screwed."

"A step-by-step guide on how to parallel park! 1) Park somewhere else."

"I went to Premature Ejaculators Anonymous but nobody was there. I guess I came too soon."