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Joke of the Day

"Breaking news In an exclusive interview, Hitler tells our reporter that the final solution was all a big misunderstanding, he claims he said: 'I want concentrated juice'"

"Me: It stands for Greatest Of All Time Jeweller: I just don't think your wife will want ""THE GOAT IS MINE"" inscribed on her wedding ring"

"My wife bought a bunch of cheap camping supplies from a garage sale. This shall be known as the Summer of my Discount Tent."

"What did the guitarist say to the magician... Pick a chord, any chord."

"The good news about falling down the stairs is that my Fitbit counted it as a mile walk."

"I was told to bring a box of tissues with me when my friends and I watched Bambi. You can imagine my disappointment."

"How do Indian chiefs send messages? By teepee-mail!"

"Why did the piglets do badly in school? They were all slow loiners."

"No, my kid didn't do the drawings I have up around my desk. I did them. It's my desk."

"*sticks switchblade into bag of NES cartridges, licks tip of knife, nods to boss* It's good."