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Joke of the Day

"I need a gun to protect me against those that want to harm me, a group mainly made up of people I've threatened with shoot with my gun"

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"[Interview] Boss: What's your greatest strength? Me: I'm a risk taker B: Can you give an example? M: *Passionately kisses boss* B: omg"
"Wat do you call the entrance to a whore house? A Hodor"
"They told me to keep it in my pants... But it was too hard. Happy Valentine's Day folks!"
"How Many Bit Coins Does it take to screw in a Lightbulb? 00000000000001adf44c7d69767585--5572eca4dd4-db7d0c0b845-916d849af76 PM me the answer!"
"So it turns out the son of a preacherman just had really long arms"
"""God I wish I was riding a dinosaur right now."" - My brain, circa now."
"Know why New Yorkers are so cynical? For them, the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey."
"TIFU by mixing up by wifes sandwich order at Subway. Whoops, wrong sub."
"I was going to make a chemistry joke... but I didn't know if it would get a positive reaction."