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Joke of the Day

"911: What's your emergency? Me: I brought a girl home last night 911: That's not an- Me: NOW SHE WON'T LEAVE! *swat team busts down my door*"

"What do you get if a huge hairy monster steps on Batman and Robin ? Flatman and Ribbon !"

"Toads and choads What do toads and choads have in common? They both taste a bit swampy"

"It's weird to sit and not eat, right?"

"Why is a dog so warm in Summer? He wears a coat and pants."

"Love becomes weak if it is not strengthened by truth. Truth becomes hard if it is not softened by love."

"How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? you knock on the door."

"Have you heard about the homeless assassin? Well... I don't know anything for sure. But I heard he's a roofless killer!"

"*puts down window Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Yes *puts up window and drives away"

"A car with a car rack looked like a police car, so I slowed down, only to realize I had been tricked into obeying the law FOR NO REASON."