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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the dyslexic KKK member? He went around killing gingers."

"I sat down beside this guy in a diner, every time he went to take a bite of his sandwich I'd say nomnomnom. He left. Making friends is hard."

"Psychiatrist to the patient: - Your case is clear. You have double personality. Please, pay bill $ 100 for the consultation... - *Keep $ 50. The rest will make the second one*"

"One hard thing to explain to people under 20 is how legitimately exciting it used to be when someone would wheel in an overhead projector."

"How do the Jedi imprison Siths? With force-fields"

"Have you ever had sex while camping? I hear it's fucking in tents."

"So I asked my wife, were you faking it last night? She said: no I really was asleep. (I heard this from Gazzo on Penn & Teller: Fool Us)"

"What can you sit on, brush your teeth with, and eat soup with? A chair, a toothbrush, and a spoon."

"Why does the monster act wild and crazy on his birthday? He's trying to age disgracefully!"

"I don't know if my ceiling is the best ceiling, but it's definitely up there."