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Joke of the Day

"The only good thing about being a chemist... Is that no one knows what I'm doing with my dog when I tell them ""I'll be in my lab""."

"To convert Celsius to Fahrenheit to double Celsius and add thirty. To convert someone to Mormonism you double the wives and add 17 kids."

"Have you noticed that the ""&"" symbol looks like a guy dragging his ass across the floor?"

"If you slap a christian girl on the ass... Would she turn the other cheek?"

"There are teenagers smoking pot in this parking lot I'm gonna throw an ax at them I bet you they get so paranoid"

"Sinead O'Connor has gone missing whilst going out on a bike ride. I'll start to get worried when it's been seven hours and fifteen days"

"Police last night raided the Home For Retired Thieves and Au Pairs.... ...they proceeded to search every crook and nanny!"

"Show me on this Georgia O'Keeffe painting where the bad man touched you."

"Ya know...If heat rises.. Heaven just might be hotter than hell."

"What does rappers eat for breakfast? Yo-ghurt."