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Joke of the Day

"There are teenagers smoking pot in this parking lot I'm gonna throw an ax at them I bet you they get so paranoid"

"I give in to peer pressure My friends went on a diet, so I joined in to try to fit in."

"I don't trust anyone who doesn't count their donuts before leaving a drive-thru."

"*catcher puts 1 finger down* *pitcher shakes head* *puts 2 fingers down* *nods* (catcher to umpire) ""can we take a break? he has to poop"""

"To the guy who invented Zero... Thanks for nothing!"

"What did the baby owl's parents say when he wanted to go to a party? You're not owld enough."

"I was furious when I found my wife's profile on a dating website That lying bitch isn't ""fun to be around"""

"So I discovered that one of my herbs went off today. It was just a matter of thyme. xxx"

"I went into a book shop and asked for a book about turtles ""Hardback"" said the woman behind the counter ""Yes"" I replied, ""and small heads"""

"Q. What do you have when only one line dancer comes to your party? A. A One Liner!"