105153

Joke of the Day

"There are teenagers smoking pot in this parking lot I'm gonna throw an ax at them I bet you they get so paranoid"

"I AM NOT REALLY YELLING AT YOU I JUST GOT USED TO TALKING TO MY TEENAGER WHO ALWAYS HAS HEADPHONES IN"

"Blonde and a dog Why did the blonde have sex with the dog? Because she likes it ruff."

"Q: What do you get when you cross a sheep and a porcupine? A: Nobody knows, but whatever it is, it knits its own sweaters."

"""We're not so different, you and I,"" Mitt Romney said to a stack of white printer paper."

"why did the chicken cross the road 69 ahhahaaha"

"Somehow, I must have switched shopping carts while I was at the store. I don't remember buying any of this stuff. Or having an Asian baby."

"Me: ""You didn't tell me that."" Them: ""Yes I did, four times while you were staring at your phone."" Me (looks up): ""I'm sorry, what?"""

"What is it that's made backwards? Edam"

"What did Clint Eastwood say before firing up the ceramic bowl he made in pottery class? Go ahead, bake my clay. *walks away slowly*"