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Joke of the Day

"If by ""cat-person"" you mean do I sleep a lot and will I lose my temper with you without provocation, then yes I'm a cat-person."

"Why can't the NSA leaker leave Russia? Because he's Snow'd-in!"

"Getting gilded is like losing your virginity I have yet to experience it... Edit: Thank you, abcriminal, for the gold. It was a worthy experience."

"I stab myself a little bit every day to slowly build up an immunity to being stabbed to death."

"Went to a ginger convention today There wasn't a soul there."

"(alternate) My wife asked me why I carry a gun around the house To kill the hallucinations I said She laughed. I laughed The toaster laughed I shot the dog"

"Mother: Did you make your bed today? Daughter: Yes Mom but I think it would be easier to buy one."

"How many ska kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? One to drop it and six to pick it up pick it up pick it up"

"Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it's the only love they get."

"There are two types of people in the world And I hate them."