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Joke of the Day

"All I'm saying is that the Care Bears gave me some very unrealistic expectations."

"my shower curtain grabbing my thigh while I was washing my hair is the most action I've gotten in a long time."

"When I was younger my fairy godmother asked me if I'd like a long penis or a long memory I forget my response."

"Fuck the man And make him a sandwich."

"Why did the oven go back to University? To get another degree. - My sister thought it up and found it so funny she called to tell me."

"The worst part of going on a date with a guy I don't like is how my grandma always dies before our food gets there."

"What is a horse being when it says mean thinga It's being neigh-gitive! Edit: Awesome. Screwed up the title"

"What do you call a black guy whose hitch-hiking? Stranded!"

"What's the difference between a Catholic Priest and acne? Acne usually comes on a boy's face after he turns 12."

"I find it ironic that the colors red, white and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you"