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Joke of the Day

"Posing with your cat to attract men is like posing with your cat to attract men,"

"You are my methods. I am nothing without you."

"I convinced my son he has asthma so I wouldn't have to waste a bunch of money on team sports."

"""What's your job?"" Programming. ""What's your hobby?"" Programming. ""What do you do when you're not programming?"" Think about programming."

"I wish I had emo hair So it would cut its self"

"I remember when I was young and dad used to play ""Got Your Nose"". It was far less traumatic than Uncle Carl's game of ""Got Your Weiner""."

"What's better than eating a mandarin? Eating Amanda out."

"Nick: Can you tell me the way to Bath? Rick: I use soap and water personally."

"If the Jewish population is 16.6 million people with a constant rate of change, what is 23% of the Jewish population after five years? Ashes"

"Riding a donkey If you are riding on a donkey and someone throws rocks at you til you fall off, does that mean you are stoned off your ass?"