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Joke of the Day

"Her: you take nice selfies Me: so I'm vain Her: no you're photogenic Me: oh so I'm ugly in real life Her: just say thanks Me: oh so I'm rude"

"What religion still believes in the Big Bang? [x-post from /r/imgoingtohellforthis] Islam"

"Why are you late? Teacher: Why are you late? Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? Student: No. I was standing on it."

"What's the atheist's view on God? Nahweh."

"You should never criticize a Muslim... until you've walked a mile in their suicide vest."

"What does an octopus wear on a cold day? A coat of arms!"

"Aristotle: We are what we repeatedly do. Plato: Well then I guess I'm YOUR MOM! -high fives Socrates-"

"I heard abortions are quite exhausting.. I was confused too, but apparently it really takes it out of you."

"What limitations does braille have? Can it represent everything that we read using the alphabet? Very limited fonts."

"How did the scarecrow win the award? Because he was outstanding in his field."