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Joke of the Day

"Do you know what the difference is between a straight man mustache and a gay man mustache? The smell"

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only one. They hold the bulb and expect the world to revolve around them. Edit: missed the y in they Thanks u/HapaHeather"

"Tell me again how I unloaded the dishwasher too loudly when you were watching golf. Detectives will want to know exactly how this went down."

"Tasteless Irish joke: How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None. Happy saint Patricks Day!"

"Getting rejected by women? Try my new question: ""If I were to ask you out, would you say no?"" Sometimes it just feels good to get a ""Yes""."

"Numbers don't lie but they don't tell the truth either. They're NUMBERS."

"[train station] Man: hey you. Woman: Hi. M: i'm Christian. W: That's a pickup line? *rolls eyes, walks away M: ugh. i hate my name."

"Accidentally dropped a magic mushroom in my cats litter box & now he's laying across the driveway staring at the stars & quoting Kierkegaard"

"When my evening plans are ruined, I pay it forward by texting ""I'm pregnant"" to random numbers."

"The people who post to /r/jokes have zero sense of humor... Maybe it's a weird meta-humor thing....or maybe this is where everyone's creepy uncle hangs out"