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Joke of the Day

"Why is it so important to fruits to get married? Because they cantaloupe."

"Give me your best pun and I will put them in the despiption."

"sure the early bird may get the worm... but the second mouse gets the cheese"

"What does a Mexican carpet fitter say to motivate his colleagues? Underlay! Underlay!"

"I just left a pregnancy test box in my brother's bathroom to mess with him and his new girlfriend."

"When it comes to my diet, I don't do cheat days I do cheat years."

"What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? Wiped his ass."

"Customer asking Bin Laden in Bar ( i need /u/yourjokeexplainedhere Customer: ""I'll have a Bin Laden, please."" Barman: ""Sir, what is dat?"" Customer: ""Two shots and a splash of water."""

"If you haven't woken up from a nap covered in stickers, did you even fall asleep while watching cartoons with your preschooler."

"2012: Oh no, my iPhone is at 10% and there's no charger. 1812: Oh no, winter is starting."