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Joke of the Day

"I invented a time machine... ...next week."

"I decided to replace my belt with multiple watches connected together. It was a big waist of time."

"south park buzz bazinga punk!"

"How do you know your house had chicken pox? It has shingles."

"I wish lucid dreaming was more controllable Not the duration of lucid dreaming but the destinations I visit. I'm tired of going to McDonalds at 2am"

"*nose hairs growing out of control *buys tiny scissors *jam them in the eyes of whoever I catch staring at my nose hairs"

"I don't know what ""swag"" is, but I was just told Justin Bieber & Lil Wayne both claim to have it. So, I'm assuming it's not talent."

"The Nintendo DS' cheaper version was the DS Lite. A cheaper Nintendo Switch would be The Nintendo Lite-Switch"

"I went to the noodle shop yesterday... and ordered a bowl of noodles. The waitress brought it out, but tripped and spilled the noodles and hot broth all over my right arm. It felt pretty raw, man."

"911 maybe too soon What's the difference between 911 and landscaping. Landscaping is an outside job sorry in advance ps I was the original poster of this"