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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a cow with no legs? My severely diabetic sister."

"TIFU by having unprotected sex. I thought the STD was standard."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to turkey!"

"How to piss off a female archaeologist... Hand her a used tampon and ask her what period it's from."

"[kicks in your door to apologize to you]"

"Did you guys hear the news? Apparently Donald Trump is a cuck."

"I asked the librarian for a book on the Ebola virus. She said, ""It's in Siera Leone at the moment, but it should be here within the next few days!"""

"Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it's probably too cheesy."

"Meat, eggs, and a blow job: which one doesn't belong? A blow job, because you can beat your eggs, you can beat your meat, but you can't beat a blow job!"

"Last week I walked up to Wayne Rooney at the airport and said,""How about an autograph mate?"" ""Sure."" He replied. So I signed a photo print of myself and gave it to him."