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Joke of the Day

"I'd just like to thank my English teacher for defining the word Many' for me. It means a lot."

"Lifeguards wouldn't let Obama in the pool because he had weeping *legions*"

"I've always stood up for black people... It's not worth getting stabbed over a seat"

"My Wife's nickname for me is ""Microsoft"" because I'm good with computers. RIGHT HONEY? Hold on guys, she's not done laughing."

"Why was the Router released early from prison? It had connections."

"What did the bisexual man said to his wife? It is not cheating if it is in the ass."

"Where does Walmart keep the Terminator toys? Aisle B, back."

"My dad taught me you can't try rationalize with crazy... It was a self-taught lesson."

"Before Twitter, I'd ignore dumb thoughts in my head like ""How do Vampires buy pants if they can't look in a mirror?"" Now, I tweet them"

"My new party trick.. I swallow two pieces of string and an hour later they come out of my ass tied together. I sh!t you knot."