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Joke of the Day

"What do you call it when you have sex to Scott Joplin music? A maple leaf shag!"

"What is the difference between Santa and the Jews? Santa goes down the chimney."

"What does an Asian prostitute say to asbestos workers? Meso horny."

"So i asked my girlfriend if she faked it yesterday.. She said ""No, i was really asleep"""

"[whispering to date while watching Disney's Three Little Pigs in 1933] This is taking my mind off The Great Depression"

"HWhy did the monster lie on his back? To trip up low-flying aircraft."

"Oh goodness it's Olympic Soccer. If I wanted to watch someone struggle to score for 90 minutes, I'd take some of my single friends to the bar."

"[NSFW] What do a pizza delivery person and a gynecologist have in common? They both get to smell it, but can't eat it."

"What is the first question you ask a baby cow, after its gotten over an illness? How are you vealing?"

"My mate dug a hole in the garden and filled it with water....I think he meant well."