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Joke of the Day

"How do you know you're speaking with an engineer? Don't worry they'll tell you."

"What do you get when you inject human DNA into a sheep? ...banned from the petting zoo..."

"""Lloyd, could you keep your eyes on the road, please?"" Oh. Yea. Good thinkin'. Can't be too careful. A lot of bad drivers out there."

"Everyone is furious about Trump's greatest crime: Beating a woman"

"I figured I'd just think of a punch line and then try to make a joke out of it. What did the comedian say when asked how he came up with his last joke?"

"I've been that, done that, had that, lost that, needed that and felt that. Just a few of the many reasons why I always drink to ""that""."

"The week seems to go by at the speed of a snail. Unless it's the weekend. Then the snail is driving a Ferrari."

"Helen Keller wouldnt know what a dick was if it hit her in the face."

"What do you call a magic door? Dumbledoor!"

"What do you call a piece of sandpaper in Syria? A map."