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Joke of the Day

"Everyone is furious about Trump's greatest crime: Beating a woman"

"I'm NOT Superman. What appears to be a red and yellow S on my chest is just the result of a rather fortuitous mustard and ketchup stain."

"> Unsubscribe from LinkedIn > Delete email account > Sell house, live in woods > Find bottle in river > Has note inside > It's from LinkedIn"

"Have you ever meet someone so Jewish... That they didn't want to pay for their train ticket?"

"How do you tell if someone has an std? Oh shit wrong sub-reddit."

"[yelling to the person i'm dancing with at the club] I HAVE SLEEP APNEA"

"I'm not racist because it's a crime. And crime is for black people."

"in case you're wondering I don't want to be buried in any of the cemeteries near my house Since I'm not dead yet."

"Doctor Doctor I think I'm an adder Great can you help me with my accounts then please!"

"What's the difference between a pussy and a cunt? The pussy is the cute fuzzy thing and the cunt is what it's attached to."