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Joke of the Day
"People are like, ""How cute! Your dog looks just like you!"" I'm like, ""That's my son."""
Next Joke
"what idiot named it jurassic world instead of parks and rex"
"If I lived in Gotham City I'd always be hinting I was Batman to get freebies. ""I'll get the bat-check. I mean regular check. Bat-thanks."""
"*Bruno Mars on the radio* Wife: Would you catch a grenade for me? Brain: Just say, YES! Me: Has the pin been pulled? Brain: Idiot!"
"The second Pop-Tart exists solely to hammer home the self-loathing initiated by the first Pop-Tart."
"""I find it hard, it's hard to find"" - Kurt Cobain looking for the TV remote"
"My husband got his hand stuck in the dishwasher. So of course I had to fire her."
"Mom , Mom, they call me ""the Cliffhanger"" in School... ... Mom: Why is that my son? Son: Because...[Walking dead Intro/outro plays loud]"
"Why was 6 afraid of 7? [not the traditional punchline] Because 7 was a registered 6 offender."
"How do you drown a hipster? In the main stream"