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Joke of the Day

"Anyone under the age of 21 should be legally required to end every sentence with the phrase ""but there's a good chance I'm wrong about that"""

"Q: What do lead trumpet players use for birth control? A: Their personality."

"Children are our greatest natural resource. I pray it doesn't come to that. --heard it on the radio, can't remember the comedian's name."

"How do you get a blonde pregnant? Cum in her shoes and let the flies do the rest."

"I used to joke that someday a person's tweets would be held against them as they ran for President but now there's Trump so I guess not."

"What are the cleverest bees ? Spelling bees !"

"Did you hear about the prison breakout yesterday? Those prison guards should have used ProActiv."

"What did the Middle Eastern dictator say after he had lunch? I ate too many chickpeas, now I falafel."

"My girlfriend left me because I couldn't stop singing Linkin Park. I don't know why it made her so angry, but in the end, it doesn't really matter."

"He sat down and ordered a drink... The bartender said ""I'm sorry. We don't serve faster than light particles here."" A Nutrino walked into a bar."