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Joke of the Day

"Q: What lives in the sea and yells? A: A clam shouter."

"How can Euchre and Marriage be similar? Sometimes you start out all hearts and diamonds, but end up wishing you had a club and a spade."

"I'd run way more miles a day if someone holding a bagel was running in front of me and someone holding a spider was chasing after me."

"Who are the fastest readers in the world? New Yorkers,some of them go through 110 stories in 10 seconds."

"Be nice to a nerd. Prevent a supervillain."

"Why did the amoeba flunk the math test? Because it multiplied by dividing."

"Apparently there's enough room in my mouth to put more than one foot."

"Why do ducks have webbed feet? To put out fires. Why do elephants have large, flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks."

"Day 19, I have successfully conditioned my master to smile and write in his book every time I drool.- Pavlov's Dog"

"1.25pm: Do you love me more than football? 4.25pm: Yes, of course."