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Joke of the Day

"If a band plays music in a thunderstorm who is most likely to get hit by lightning? The conductor."

"My friend wants a fairy tale wedding, so I'm going to poison her. I hope that's what she meant."

"What do you call a dictionary on drugs? High definition."

"What do you call a droid who's never on time? BB-L8"

"I've considered shaving off my beard But it's starting to grow on me"

"I wonder who Rose is going to kill in Titanic II."

"Why do people even like anal? It's fucking shit."

"Yo mama so fat! Her Prius gets 12mpg."

"Have you ever had Somalian food? Neither have they."

"A G N B: That's bang out of order."